Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Random Scandal Wednesday!!!!

It's HUMP DAY! I remember boys laughing at that when I was in school and I so didn't get it. Then I read my first romance novel and desperately hoped that Hump Day really meant what it sounded like. Alas, to no avail. It was a simple euphemism for the middle of the week, the top of the hill so to speak. With the advancement of my age - I'm only 30, but still - and my entrance into the working world, I came to realize that Wednesday was a coveted marker in the grind. It was the halfway mark. One more day until Friday...which was casual day. 

Since I have embarked upon an adventure that will no doubt take me to tantalizing places, both in and out of my psyche, and since I have this magnificent opportunity, I am going to use this platform to make Hump Day more than just the middle of the road. So without further ado, I hereby dub Wednesday to be RANDOM SCANDAL WEDNESDAY! Well, at least in my little world, anyway. 

I will first digress and give some updates and news in my writing endeavors. My first contract for publication was sent out to the publisher yesterday. You want to talk about excitement? Yeah, it was all over me! This opportunity is one that I have dreamed of since I was a sixteen year old girl, post traumatic discovery of the lacking of humping on Wednesdays, of course. Divulging a little tid bit of info, my first published piece is very short and it is going in a Christmas Anthology from Evernight Publishing. Though it is short, it is mine and it is being published, so I feel like Stephen King or Danielle Steele right now. Just being included in this compilation has given me confidence like you read about and I have been hammering away at the keyboard, losing myself in worlds that I sincerely hope someday you will read too :) When the cover of the book and the release date are available, I will post both on here. 

So speaking of hammering, I would like to present our first installment of RANDOM SCANDAL WEDNESDAY, and we will start with a childhood favorite. 


Many a year did her plastic curves and pristine hair keep a lonely girl company. She possessed the clothes, the body, the jobs that we all wanted. I mean, who didn't want to be Barbie. She had the Dream House. Remember it? 

So in hindsight, the construction of this thing is all kind of whacky. And there is simply no organic flow. AND you had to pretend there were stairs by lifting Barbie in the air and making ascending step sounds with your mouth...but to a ten year old girl, this house was the business! Barbie came home in her Ferrari from her date with the ever androgynous Ken and after she donned her sequin nightgown, she crashed in this. Oh I wanted to be Barbie.

But then I discovered the secret life of Barbie. The celebrity, the pressure to keep her figure and her make-up just right, the expectation to always look and be her best wore her down. Her little plastic heart broke a little more every time she was forced to take on a new career or a new wardrobe. The end result? 

Years of secret drug addiction. 

I know! I was shocked too! Think about all of those nameless children that she has apparently had over the years yet maintained her 1 inch waist! She could lose everything! The house with no stairs, the myriad of cars...KEN?! Well, that last one isn't such a loss. She should go after G.I Joe and be done with it. 

So there you have it....Random Scandal Wednesday! Offensive? Maybe. Funny? Oh I hope so. 

If you know of any hysterical random scandals that you would like to see, feel free to email them to me at, and as always, thank you for your love, support and your secret wish that Hump Day really meant how it sounds. 



Gravy said...

Wait, your house didn't have an elevator?
I think she would have been happy with GI Joe. They'd live a low maintenance simple life in the burbs; him with his Jeep and her with her pink Corvette.
Besides, I think Ken would have left her anyway. Yeah, he would have left for another Ken doll.

A.D Blackburn said...

One of the newer Ken dollas that actually have hair to hold on to. I don't even want to think about how Malibu Stacy is handling her Jan Brady complex.